The leading Swiss right-wing party SVP (Schweizerische Volkspartei) has launched a slightly racist Flash-based web game where you control their mascot, a goat with the bewilderingly unimaginative name “Zottel” (“shaggy”, “hairy” etc.). Zottel is charged with four things:
Game 1: Prevent the abuse of naturalization
This places Zottel in front of the Bundeshaus, where he has to catch Swiss passports that are being “liberally thrown out” to the crowd of asian and black people waiting in the lower part of the screen. In case any green party member appears, Zottel can kick him off the screen. If a judge walks by, you can press space to send him flying off stage. You better, as he might try to naturalize one of those filthy Thais, eh?
Game 2: Stop criminal aliens
Before you can play this game, you have to guess the “percentage of rape crimes comitted by illegal aliens in Switzerland in 2005”, which apparently is 85.5%. Umm. Yes. Okay.
The goal of the game is to ram black sheep back where they came from, into the darkness of the west, off our nice green Swiss pastures. Pay special attention to the buses driven by green party members: they are full of aliens and take several rammings before they die.
Game 3: Stop EU tax reeves
I didn’t even know the word “reeve” existed in the English language before I saw the SVP use its German version (“Vogt”) in this context. What’s next, WW2-era Nazi terminology? Oh wait, they are already using that.
This game argues that the EU wants more power, money and influence, and that’s the reason why the EU wants to tell Switzerland how to tax Swiss holding companies operating in the EU. The introductory question to this game asks “how much money would we lose every year if we’d give in to the EU tax reeves?” 7 billion, they say.
The game is a horribly unimaginative shooter where Zottel uses a crossbow (!) to shoot EU hats off of poles before little EU tax Vogts come and steal the money bags full of CHF. Cheesy William Tell references? Check.
Game 4: Stop federally orchestrated rip-offs
Here, the SVP complains that speeding tickets are too expensive and that the state unfairly profits from them. The party calls the state a “rip-off” and any money made from these tickets and speed limits goes into the “rip-off cash box”.
The goal of the game is to kill members of the green party who are putting up speed limit signs and radar speed detectors. If you drive into a speed limited area, you slow down, making it harder for you to run over the green guy. But fortunately, after you pass one of his signs, you can steal it, making Switzerland’s roads fast and CO2-inefficient again.
All of the games are utter crap. This is not Alien Hominid-style quality. This isn’t even on the level of a Flash-based Asteroids clone. The narrative the games are embedded in is revolting. In the last few months, the SVP has spent millions of francs to convince the Swiss that we are in danger of being overrun by scary black people who rape our women and steal our money, and that the EU wants to annex us. This web game, on the intellectual level of a three year old, is another building block of their marketing strategy.
The scary bit is, I do overhear conversations openly praising the SVP sometimes. I wish someone would prescribe common sense to Switzerland, as it seems to be running a fever at the moment, and the hallucinations are showing up in the form of goat games. I’m officially afraid.